Short Attention Span Review: "24" 3/9

IF PEOPLE DON'T LISTEN TO JACK BAUER, PEOPLE DIE.

(Also, if people DO listen to Jack Bauer, people die.)

See, the thing is, Jack is death on wheels. If he calls you up and offers to help you move, tell him you'd rather throw out your back hefting the hide-a-bed on your own. If you find out you need a kidney and Jack says in his raspy voice, "I'm a donor match," you just say, "Thanks, no, I'll just use this old air filter from the General Lee."

Finally: So long, Bill. That was kind of a rushed and stupid way to go, but, hey. It was real.