Short Attention Span Review: Fringe "4/28"

Hey, Astrid got to figure out the key clue to the big mystery!

GO, ASTRID!

Meanwhile, the professor gets a fellow mad scientist to hang out with while Olivia and Pacey go hunting for Spine Muncher.

I thought it was a nice touch, mixing the agent's sister's personal drama (divorce in the making) with the X-Files antics.

Short Attention Span Review: "LOST" 4/29

On one hand, this was a Daniel Faraday-focused episode with nice little fiddly-bits calling back to previous episodes, which was cool.

On the other hand, this was a Daniel Faraday-focused episode without a whole lot that was new except for The Gang hanging out in Sawyer's crib talking about what to do now that they've got Phil stuck in a closet. And, I have to admit - maybe I was just tired from a long work day - I fell asleep during most of those parts and the parts with Desmond and Penny in the hospital. Karen says I was snoring. I can't deny it.

I was awake for the last three minutes, though.

Damn. Faraday's Mom really is a cold-hearted wench.

Short Attention Span Review: "House" 4/27

I must admit that as much as I'm tired of the recent trend of TV characters seeing other characters that aren't there, I was okay with the return of Wilson's dead girlfriend as manifestation of House's evil side.

All in all, an okay episode, although I didn't care so much about the Patient of the Week. Mostly interested in the bachelor party, which took an interesting turn for Chase.

Short Attention Span Review: "Heroes" 4/27

Well, this episode had a lot to like in it. Deftly, it wrapped up A LOT in one hour - and left us hanging with the promise of some fun in Season 4.

But...

...I don't know that I'll watch, for one simple reason. If you haven't seen the show yet and don't want to be spoiled, stop reading back at the But...

Okay? Ready? It's just the people who saw it or don't mind being spoiled now, right? Good!

Nathan's not-death. Just one too many not-deaths for me, especially since they were bringing back Ali Larter in the end too.

My mouth actually dropped open in surprise when Sylar slit Nathan's throat and left him for dead. Out loud, I told Karen: "He SHOULD have died in that explosion at the end of Season 1." When Angela found him and raged...that was a VERY powerful moment.

Now, I know having the Sylar-Nathan body/mind switch was a nifty trick so that Parkman had something epic to do in this episode. But the justification for it - that it would all be blamed on people with powers if they DIDN'T cover it up by turning Sylar into Nathan - was, frankly, horseshit. The new and improved Company could have blamed it on ANYTHING they wanted.

Bringing him back cheapened the effect of his death and Angela's reaction to it. Further, it couldn't have been MORE obvious that it was going to lead to some scary repercussions, like Nathan's sudden affinity for clocks.

Meh. Too much, too late.

Short Attention Span Review: "24" 4/27

Tony continues to be a bad, bad man.

I enjoyed the shoutoff between Jack and Hodges. I thought the verbal beatdown of Analyst Janeane was just a little too anvilicious for its own good - what with her being an avatar of liberalism and Jack being, well, y'know, all about the ends justifying the means.

And then even the coldest heart has to twinge a little when Jack starts ranting about David Palmer recommissioning the CTU servers. He's losing it!

Short Attention Span Review: "Fringe" 4/21

I'm not entirely sure I know exactly what's going on in the wake of the latest episode of Fringe. All I can say with a certainty is: Damn, that was good television. I haven't seen The Happening. I've only heard horror stories about grass and trees turning evil and M. Night Shamalamadingdong. But this episode of Fringe felt to me like The Happening SHOULD have been.

The whole reverse empath thing was great. I thought for sure it would turn into some twisted rendition of R.E.M.'s "Everybody Hurts" video, with all the people following Michael Stipe to the top of a building and jumping off.

The dialogue and character development were great. I continue to think of Walter Bishop as one of the best-written (and portrayed) characters on TV these days.

Short Attention Span Review: "Heroes" 4/20

Okay, this episode wasn't nearly as mind-numbing or pointless as last week's, so YAY!

Sylar really knows how to go Norman Bates, doesn't he?

And Nathan, I'm sorry, but you're obviously a lever short of a voting machine: Mr. I Have to Do This On My Own got ALMOST exactly what was coming to him. (I was actually rooting for him to get the Clint Howard head shave, but we don't always get what we want.)

The whole Superman/Batman thing with Ando and Hiro was amusing for the first couple of minutes. Then it got tired. And then they made Hiro spurt blood from his nose, which was great, because he's been getting on my nerves.

Let's see. What else? OH, the Parkmans are back together! Such a nice family. Who's stopping by with housewarming gifts? Maybe a new crib for Junior? It's the feds!

Short Attention Span Review: "24" 4/20

There's a new Mandy in town and she's working with Evil Agent Tony!

Poor crazy old Hodges - he didn't even get a choice between red and blue pills.

And, once again, we see that no government perimeter can possibly hold, even with Jack Bauer twitching and frothing as he barks orders.

So, Kim's on her way "back to the airport" so she can "fly to L.A." Crap. With crazy extremists planning another big attack with that last canister, I WONDER WHAT THE TARGET MIGHT BE AND WHO MIGHT BE CAUGHT UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CRISIS?

Blurgh.

Short Attention Span Review: "State of Play"

This movie, at its heart, comes across as a love letter to good old-fashioned newspaper journalism as it struggles to survive in the era of the 24-hour news cycle. The scandalous twists and turns are just window dressing for the rest of it.

Loved it. See it while you can. May be one of the last movies ever made that shows the process of making a print newspaper.

Officially out...

After three years and a rocky ending, my relationship with The Oaks at Weston apartment complex in Morrisville, North Carolina is now over.

Last night, we finished cleaning out the apartment on Martin Tavern Road. Karen pretty much wrecked her back and leg working on the floors. I exhausted myself hauling stuff up and down stairs. Stefan dragged trash to the dumpster.

Personally, I didn't want to go to all the effort that we did. I feel like we were badly served by the management in the end. But, y'know, I would have felt slimy ditching them with too much of a mess. Just because THEY don't have any scruples and THEY don't have a conscience doesn't mean I should sink to their level.

They've got the keys now.

I just hope no one tries to sit on the guest toilet without looking first - we forgot the plunger.

Short Attention Span Review: "LOST" 4/15

A Miles episode! WOO! An hour of snark within snark, with snarky flashbacks.

Just a little too much Kate and Jack, of course. Where they go, hijinks inevitably follow. WAY TO RUIN EVERYTHING, KATE. AS USUAL.

But enough about the delightful pair of Kack. Let's talk about what rocked:

* Miles has daddy issues, which isn't much of a surprise. But there IS a surprise: Dr. Tour Guide!
* Every scene with Miles and Hurley - again. Seriously, give these two their own show. I'd watch. Especially when Hurley starts going off on Star Wars.
* Seeing the moment the magic numbers got put on the hatch.
* Sawyer taking out the snitch. "Get some rope."
* Faraday!

Can't believe we've got to wait two weeks for the next episode. Pssh!

So, about that novel...

It's online. It's free. And it's OtherSpace!

The goal was to write one chapter a week. In the past five days, I've written the first four chapters. It helps that I'm having fun. I've been playing a bit with the storytelling format, but mostly I just have a good time writing the character of Len Dixon.

I hope you'll keep track of his adventures! I'm storing them for broader consumption at http://stolenwarrior.blogspot.com

Tell your friends!

Short Attention Span Review: "24" 4/13

I felt so much better about the President recalling those fighter jets when it was apparent in this episode that the writers were doing away with the deus ex machina in favor of letting Tony play hero.

Jonas got his comeuppance! But...Tony, what the hell?! SERIOUSLY? Apparently, seriously. Sorry, Larry. I grew to like you. You'll be missed.

Meanwhile, a brief interlude with Kim Bauer. It occurs to me that if she were my only hope for surviving exposure to a deadly toxin, I'd turn her down too. I'm certain even her stem cells are bleached beyond sensibility.

Short Attention Span Review: "House" 4/13

This week, everyone's reeling from the crap that happened in the episode I didn't see last week.

The key problem: House has lost his mojo!

Secondary problem: Cameron's pissing off Dr. Boyfriend by postponing vacation plans so that she doesn't have to deal with him trying to propose.

Oh, and then there's the Patient of the Week, an annoying environmentalist who looks and sounds a lot like a discount-priced Jason Lee (now 100% less Scientologeriffic)!

Liked the episode, even though I still haven't seen the one that preceded it. Wilson was great. Nice to see him pulling one over on House for a change.

But then, last scene, all I can think is: Crap. Didn't I see this once on Gray's Anatomy? And didn't I hate that?

Short Attention Span Review: "Heroes" 4/13

I sat through that just to find out why the hell Angela Petrelli goes on shoplifting sprees?

WHAT THE HELL?

Other than that, this was a whole lot of "meh" and throat clearing. I didn't even care much for the flashbacks with Angie and the Company Men. Deadly dull stuff. Even deadlier and duller: Any scene with Nathan and Peter angsting at each other. Only slightly better: Scenes with Nathan and HRG and Claire angsting near each other.

Also: Apparently there's awesome dental care in Coyote Sands. Alice lived there for 50 years and her teeth looked fantastic. Come to think of it, she was wearing lipstick too. Well, even crazy hermits like to feel pretty from time to time.

Short Attention Span Review: "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" 4/10

That finale was a lot of cool happening.

Catapulting John into a future with SilverShirley where he's NOT the hero of the resistance and hooking him up with Derek and Kyle? Sheer awesomeness!

It'll be a shame if Fox cancels the show before we get to see where this all leads.

Short Attention Span Review: "Dollhouse" 4/10

Well, plenty of self-snarking in this episode - including Echo calling Topher "dangerously incompetent." Why, if that's not the pot calling the cook ... er, no, that just doesn't work quite right.

Basically, this whole episode amounted to getting rid of Reed Diamond.

I'm okay with that.

Short Attention Span Review: "Fringe" 4/7

Hey, I missed this show while it was gone - and now it's back!

This time, demolition workers find Baby Hellraiser in a sealed-off part of a building they're about to obliterate. Turns out, Baby Hellraiser can write names and addresses, but isn't able to communicate much else unless he's got a handy cluster of yellow M&Ms at the ready.

The episode sorta reminded me of ET, except the Man with the Keys is a serial killer and the Willow Lady is a heat-packing federal agent, and Drew Barrymore is a crazy old scientist.

Good times.

R.I.P. Dave Arneson

Dave Arneson, one of the founding fathers of the tabletop RPG, has died at the age of 61.

If it wasn't for the work he did along with Gary Gygax in the 1970s, I probably wouldn't be doing what I do today.

Short Attention Span Review: "LOST" 4/8

Well, Benjamin Linus episodes now rank up there with John Locke episodes.

Loved the island's "judgment" scene, complete with memory-tapping smoke monster! Enjoyed the flashbacks, although who knew they made crappy hairpieces in Camp Otherton? Where did they get Ben's? From a smoke badger? Or did they make it from Charles Widmore's sheared locks?

MORE QUESTIONS! DAMN YOU, LOST!

The Big Move

As I write this, I'm sitting at my computer table in the office of our new house in Breckenridge. We're on the outskirts of Morrisville, within easy reach of I-540 and pretty much everything from Durham to Raleigh.

The last few days have amounted to one long slog of me and the Juicebox playing pack mule, but I have to say: It's been worth it.

Huck's not going crazy because someone in the next apartment over slammed their front door. We're not being awakened in the middle of the night, every night, by the same neighbor who can't seem to control their car alarm. I don't come home from work to play Parking Lot Lotto, wondering if I'll actually be in front of the apartment or walking from a block away.

Elsa and Sienna weren't too thrilled during Moving Day. They had to spend about 12 hours locked in the apartment bathroom while the Mayflower guys hauled our stuff from the Oaks to Breckenridge. Elsa's a champ, though. Once we got the cats over here, Elsa came right upstairs to say hello, while Sienna huddled down behind the Raiders of the Lost Ark poster I still need to hang. Sienna didn't get the gumption to wander much until this morning.

The kitchen is nice - it could use more counter space, but Karen seems to be making the room work the way she wants it. We need a few more lamps, but those will come soon enough.

She made her first meal there tonight - a delicious meat and pasta dish with salad on the side. Yum!

Good to be home.

Short Attention Span Review: "House" 4/6

Well, I didn't have TV or Internet while I was in the midst of moving to the new digs on Monday, so I missed House. Episodes don't show until eight days later on Hulu.com and FOX.com.

Ultimately, though, I got wind of what happened in this episode. KUTTNER?! Really? He's the one who offs himself?

Apparently, this has caused some controversy among some fans of the show who decry it as lazy writing. Meh. I'll reserve judgment until I see it next week.

Short Attention Span Review: "Heroes" 4/6

I totally knew that was Sylar pretending to be Sandra when she served HRG the divorce papers but, y'know what? I DIDN'T WANT IT TO BE FAKE. That's a speech the *real* Sandra should have given to Noah a long, long time ago.

I liked the cat and mouse game between HRG and Danko/Sylar. Not sure how many times they can pull those switcheroos on the show and keep it entertaining, though.

Great to see Matt and Mini-Matt together.

Ando! Make the face!

Short Attention Span Review: "24" 4/6

Well, that was on serious case of blue-balling. A whole episode spent building up to a jet fighter strike on Starkwood and then YOINK! Never mind. Way to throw your life away for nothing, Knowles! Sorry you went to all that trouble, Tony!

Meanwhile, it seems like Kim Bauer will make an inevitable return. But will she be played by Elisha Cuthbert or could they bring in Sarah Chalke to be "Second Kim" too?

And how about the President's daughter, huh? Moxie! She's got moxie. And webcam know-how, with a future on the Interwebz.

Short Attention Span Review: "LOST" 4/1

Wow, a Jack-and-Kate-ish episode that I didn't loathe.

Sure, Jack tossed his oath out the window, but at least the guy took a stand for something.

Does it make me MORE evil that I was GLAD little Aaron might have been kidnapped in the LOST-O-MART? Sorry, kid, you just can't act.

And I'd like to kick off a grassroots movement to support the creation of a Miles-and-Hurley-Talk-Time-Travel variety hour show.

Next week: All Ben, all the time, after he wakes up to find the guy he murdered being all smirky at him. It's going to be good fun. I hope the cable installers show up on time.