Short Attention Span Review: "UP"

Of all the Pixar movies thus far, UP has become, without reservation or qualification, my absolute favorite. And, as a heart-tugging narrative, it outclasses most live action movies out there.

This movie struck several chords with me. First, there's youthful longing for adventure that gets burdened down by the realities of adult life. Then there's the sorrow of loss of people you love - to divorce; to disease. And, finally, there's hope and renewal. All of this deep meaning, wrapped up in a shiny package of talking dogs, squawking roadrunners, and adventure fiction.

Just perfect.

Short Attention Span Review: "Angels & Demons"

I found The Da Vinci Code dull and predictable and, at times, utterly ludicrous.

The sequel's still fairly predictable, but it's not dull. The dialogue seemed pretty easy to memorize most of the time: "ROBERT, HERE!" "ROBERT!" "HERE!" Occasional monologues provided exposition along the way.

Hanks does a good job with the material, which involves a mystery surrounding a Pope's death and the murder of a priest/scientist over a container of antimatter. The movie then turns into a sort of "24" meets "Foul Play." No Manilow tunes, however.

Ewan McGregor deserves special recognition for his portrayal of an earnest young priest with surprising ambitions.

On quitting WoW

It's not like I hate World of Warcraft. I don't.

It's not that I got in some kind of personality clash with people there. I didn't.

The problem is a simple matter of mathematics: Once I add up all the major obligations I've got in my life, I just don't have time to make the most out of WoW the way I could in the past.

Too many other things need my attention right now:

* Karen and her son, Stefan, who lives with us half the time.
* My job working on Fallen Earth.
* My games at jointhesaga.com.
* And, when time allows, content for the MUDdy Hobo blog.

I've gotten to know some great people through WoW. I springboarded into MMORPG development as a career thanks to that game. Chances are, come the next expansion, I'll poke around to see what's new.

But, for now, I'm setting it aside.

Short Attention Span Review: "24" 5/18

Does it make me a GOOD person that I didn't end up loathing Kim Bauer by the end of the 8th season finale?

She didn't turn into a total damsel in distress (although the flailing-with-burning-arm was funnier than it should have been) and, in the end, it looks she got to be more hero than hapless.

Meanwhile, First Daughter took the top prize for Utter Dumbassness. Way to go, President Mom, for sticking to your principles even when Colm Feore crinkles his brow accusingly at you.

And now I totally need to know what happened between Agent Freckles and Alan Wilson!

Guess I'll just have to wait for Season Nine.

Short Attention Span Review: "Slumdog Millionaire"

I missed this Best Picture winner when it came out in theaters and now I really regret that - I wish I'd seen it on the big screen.

The storytelling style reminded me of The Usual Suspects, coupled with coming of age stories like Stand By Me, with a healthy dose of Scarface and the Godfather thrown in for good measure. It's all set against the backdrop of a country that I clearly don't know enough about thanks to the questions posed in their version of Who Wants to Be A Millionaire.

The subtitles are fun to follow. The performances are nothing short of astounding, from the kids to the adults. And the story, in the end, is just a simple boy meets girl tale done remarkably well.

Plus, pretty cool dance number at the end. Worth watching!

Short Attention Span Review: "W"

I didn't see Oliver Stone's "W" when it was in movie theaters. It seemed like exactly the sort of thing that would be just fine to watch on a TV screen. And it was.

It's not a bad movie. The performances are pretty good (although the standout poor performance, in my opinion, was Thandie Newton as Condoleeza Rice). I just didn't care and I didn't sympathize with ANYONE. Nor did I get much out of it, except regret that the pretzel failed its mission.

It didn't tell me anything I didn't already know, it didn't change or validate any feelings I already had. It was the equivalent of a celluloid shrug.

Short Attention Span Review: "Lost" 5/13

I've had a couple of days to process the finale of LOST. I think I've finally found a succinct way to encapsulate my feelings about it:

WTF?

I didn't hate it. I didn't love it. It had some great moments punctuated by long periods of not much going on.

Most egregious issue, in my opinion: Jack and Sawyer taking five for some manly grappling and slapping in the woods while Sayid bleeds to death in the van.

Best moment: Sawyer's horrified anguish after Juliette plunged down into the pit.

Worst moment: First-scene revelation that this island is home to some ancient battle between a rogue from Deadwood and an asshat from Dexter.

Season Six really needs to wrap this up nicely. So far, I'm skeptical.

Short Attention Span Review: "Fringe" 5/12

I didn't care for the fact that all the "OMG Leonard Nimoy!" fanboy hype was all for a few seconds of actual screen time with the guy.

However: I loved everything else in this episode and I thought it was a gutsy move for the show's creators to depict a parallel reality in which the World Trade Center still stands. Although, judging from that New York Post article, the White House had to be rebuilt.

Loved the little twist about Special Not-Agent Pacey. The Bishop family continues to be interesting.

Can't wait for next season.

Short Attention Span Review: "24" 5/11

By the end of this episode, I realized my worst fears were coming true: The finale's going to be all about saving Kim at the airport.

Oh. For. Christ's. Sake.

Can't we bring Hodges back from the dead? Maybe find another teaspoon of the biological agent to terrorize a park with? ANYTHING? PLEASE?!

Back to the episode at hand: Nice job letting Jibraan be the hero. Awesome that Tony got a Jackdown. But I could have done with less snark-countersnark between the dueling techs back at base camp.

Short Attention Span Review: "House" 5/11

Holy crap. My wish came true!

If you've read this far, you're warned: SPOILERS!

The entire sequence with Cuddy helping House detox - and then depressurize with hanky-panky - was a hallucination. The poor cantankerous bastard deluded himself into thinking he'd beaten the pills and won the girl. The look on his face when he realized the truth, courtesy of Amber and Kuttner, was absolutely amazing. Give Hugh Laurie his Emmy now!

Can't wait for next season.

Snake to migraine?

I had a relatively vivid dream early Sunday in which I was with a lot of people at a park for some kind of corporate picnic. It wasn't with my current employer: I didn't recognize any of my apparent co-workers. The park didn't have any picnic tables. We sat on pavement along a concrete curb that contained the grassy median-like area that formed the park. A low wood-rail fence formed a perimeter around the inside of the curb.

I was sitting cross-legged on the pavement, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a burrowed hole in the grass in front of me. I started knocking little dirt clods down the hole like I used to do when I was a kid. Then I noticed a coiled snake at the bottom of the hole. The snake was dark, but seemed skinny. It didn't register as a threat, just kind of creepy.

I told the girl next to me. She reached down that hole, plucked out the snake, and suddenly it was more akin to a python in size and appearance, with black and green scales. I didn't recognize the girl, but I remember telling her to give me the snake because it might hurt her. She handed the snake to me and, of course, it bit my hand - repeatedly.

On the third bite, I woke up from the dream with a spiking migraine headache. Yowch.

Short Attention Span Review: "Star Trek"

I loved this movie. And my biggest fear, that Karl Urban wouldn't be up to the task of playing McCoy, proved totally unfounded.

The twists and turns applied to the existing mythos didn't bother me at all. The minds behind the revisualization of the Star Trek franchise did a terrific job. Nothing in this movie is a revelation or a deep social commentary, but it took a run-down jalopy and turned it into a hot-rodding machine.

Short Attention Span Review: "LOST" 5/6

In this episode, it's all Richard Alpert, ALL THE TIMES! In 1977, he's tagging along with Jack on a Locke-esque field trip to find a hydrogen bomb and try to stop Oceanic Flight 815 from ever crashing. In 2007, he's grumpy to see the Real Locke return to lead the huddled Other masses on a crusade to kill the mysterious Jacob.

Meanwhile, Kate knows she'll just end up in prison if Jack succeeds with Operation Big Bam Boom, so she ditches him. But Sayid shows up to help, so the competence of that team just skyrocketed!

Sawyer and Juliette spend the episode tied up, while Stuart channels Jack Bauer A LOT. And then they're off on the sub in a really cheesy CGI shot, with Kate, so you know that trip back to Ann Arbor is going to be LOOOONNNNNGGGGG, except that you also know there's no way in hell that sub is really taking anyone to Ann Arbor.

Short Attention Span Review: "Fringe" 5/5

I liked the surreal stuff going on with Olivia in this episode. I'll never complain about someone setting that jerk Harris on fire. And Walter, as usual, was genius. But I call shenanigans on the heat-rippled glass holding sound clear enough to Midomi a ringtone off it. Seriously, that was just silly.

Short Attention Span Review: "24" 5/4

Heh, if anyone knows what it's like to have someone threaten your loved ones if you refuse to do something that's totally out of character, that'd be Jack Bauer. Jibran, a hapless Muslim who loves America and his little brother, finds himself in the same sort of situation Jack was in during Day One, way back in 2001.

Jack made nice with Special Agent Janeane. Chloe found out Jack was doomed. And Jack met an Arab he didn't try to shoot, behead, kneecap, or towel-throat. It was a very special episode of 24!

Meanwhile, back at the White House, I just don't give a damn about the First Daughter/Chief of Staff and her dumbass choice regarding a hit on Jonas Hodges. I mean, seriously, does she think she's the only one with an axe to grind against this guy? She KNOWS about the Greater Conspiracy, so in the 24-verse she should take it as a given that even if she didn't call in a hit, SOMEBODY ELSE WOULD - especially once that itinerary got leaked.

Short Attention Span Review: "House" 5/4

I can't say I loved this episode, although I continued to like House's struggle with his "inner Amber." Involving Wilson made it more interesting.

The last few moments with Cuddy made me hope that we're going to find out that House has been in a sanitarium for the last two seasons and he's going to wake up screaming in restraints, because getting those two together is shark-jumping material.

Plus: I don't want or need to know about Cameron's knack for collecting man-spunk. But, hey, looks like maybe Chase doesn't want to know either.

Short Attention Span Review: "Dollhouse" 5/1

It may be the end of the road for this show soon, but if it is, it's going out with a pretty good bang.

Alan Tudyk finally made his big appearance as Alpha - after spending most of the episode playing a stoned-out environmental scientist. He's a fantastic actor and he really stole the show.

Interesting twist at the end!

Short Attention Span Review: "X-MEN Origins: Wolverine"

I went into this movie expecting to groan and grumble my way through it, just like I did during X-MEN 3.

I didn't.

I really had a good time watching this movie. I was even cheering for the cheesy leap-through-the-air-to-impale-the-helicopter moment because of the bad stuff that preceded it.

It's a big comic book action movie. Great fights, cool explosions, and lots of Hugh Jackman doing the snarly, SNIKT-y thing. Plus Gambit and a game of spot-the-future-mutants!

Oh, and Liev Schreiber did a great job too.

The fight with Deadpool reminded me a lot of Phantom Menace's Jedi vs. Sith battle...if Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon wanted each other dead.