I couldn't get to sleep last night. I felt antsy and anxious. So, I got out of bed, logged on the computer, and ran around World of Warcraft to fill out more of my map for those exploration achievements. I was doing whatever I could not to think about whatever it was I was fidgeting about.
When I got bored with WoW, I started watching one of three episodes of Dexter that I'm trying to catch up on. I was 10 minutes into the episode when it clicked in my head. I knew what was bugging me: I hadn't heard from Joy since sending her my answers for the divorce filing on Monday. Not even a confirmation that she got the information.
This is bad for my personality, because I'm like a shark: I have to keep moving forward. I can't stand going in stupid circles or trying to swim backward or sitting in one place for very long.
Once I realized what was wrong and knew I couldn't settle the problem in the middle of the night by watching TV, I felt I could sleep.
And I did.
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1 comment:
Yeah, it happens. It drove me bonkers in my first divorce. I had a case of it for the first three years. Then I had graduated from St. Leo, gotten a job with the paper and a little while later met the wild man we know. White Russians and good food among other stuff helps that business go away. Of course, I had a house in a bad area of Dade City and a small child. But it's normal what you're feeling. Doesn't matter how ready you are for this to end, you still feel the pacing-holy-crap-what-the hell is going on now-thing.
Last night I went to a play at St. Leo, which was a bad modern rip off of MacBeth and Monty Python's "Search for the Holy Grail" rolled into one. It would have been better in the '60s in NYC while everyone was tripping on acid.
Wes, it will be OK. Besides, this whole thing is kind of like being pushed out of an airplane-and you are never sure that parachute will open for you. It will, you'll make it. Besides, life has better stuff for you.
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